Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

BREAKING: Sam Bankman-Fried has tragically died in a plane crash tomorrow

Exavier Saskagoochie December 13, 2022 0

NEW YORK—In a shocking coincidence, Sam Bankman-Fried, the man who used stolen crypto funds to donate to Democratic Party candidates,...

BREAKING: Matt Damon has died

Exavier Saskagoochie December 12, 2022 0

You will be missed!

BREAKING: Fauci can’t recall COVID-19: ‘What pandemic? I don’t know what you’re talking about’

Exavier Saskagoochie December 9, 2022 0

WASHINGTON, DC—After approval of government mitigations for COVID-19 have hit an all-time low, America's Doctor Anthony Fauci is distancing himself...

BREAKING: Man who released illegal arms dealer from prison gives lecture on gun control

Exavier Saskagoochie December 8, 2022 0

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Wednesday renewed vows to secure a new ban on assault weapons in the United States...

BREAKING: Biden swaps America-hating ‘Merchant of Death’ for Russian arms dealer

Exavier Saskagoochie December 8, 2022 0

US—On Dec. 8, 2022, the Associated Press confirmed President* Joe Biden has secured a prisoner swap of America-hating "Merchant of Death" for...

BREAKING: Time gives 10% of Zelensky’s Person of the Year award to ‘the Big Guy’

Exavier Saskagoochie December 7, 2022 0

Time magazine named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky 2022's "Person of the Year" on Wednesday, but made sure to clarify that...

How to Play Off Accidentally Posting Satire as an Actual Headline

Exavier Saskagoochie December 5, 2022 0

Did you eat the Onion? Get stung by the Bee? It's understandable with actual news headlines so ridiculous that it's...

Treason’s Greetings from the Bidens!

Exavier Saskagoochie December 5, 2022 0

"From our family to yours, we wish everyone treason's greetings. May your holidays be filled with the peace and joy...

Biden promotes non-binary Brinton to head TSA citing experience stealing women’s luggage

Exavier Saskagoochie December 1, 2022 0

WASHINGTON, DC—A non-binary Biden administration official nuclear waste expert was charged with stealing a traveler’s luggage from the Minneapolis airport...