Bernie ‘pretty sure’ corruption will end when we give the corrupt government more power

Democratic socialist presidential front runner Bernie Sanders says he’s sick of the corruption in government and that he’s “pretty sure” the corruption will end if we make the corrupt government bigger and give it even more power.

“My number one goal when I become president—besides controlling every aspect of your lives—is to end corruption. And the only way to end corruption is to make the corrupt institution we’re trying to contain more powerful,” Sanders said.

A poll of Millennials shows support for the utterly illogical plan. A majority in the poll said that the federal government is too corrupt to trust with more power and a similar majority said that the only way to solve that is to increase the amount of power that corrupt institution has.

Sanders, who became a millionaire fighting income inequality has found ways to enrich himself throughout his public career by diverting taxpayer money to companies run by his immediate family.

“We must end the corruption in Washington!” Sanders said. “And the best way to do that is to move billions of taxpayer money to companies run by my wife and children.”