New DNC debate standards eliminate Tulsi Gabbard from the face of the Earth

The Democratic National Committee (DNC) on Friday announced new qualifying standards for the upcoming Arizona debate that will eliminate Tulsi Gabbard from the face of the planet.

Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii) did not meet the single qualifying factor to remain on Earth: “You must not be Tulsi Gabbard.”

“We’ve been trying to get rid of that thorn in our side for a while now,” DNC Chairman Tom Perez said in a press conference announcing the debate. “We’ve tried to keep her out of the debates the best we could but we figured we would just keep her off of the planet this time to be sure.

Questions swirled about how they were going to eliminate the sitting Congresswoman from the face of the planet.

“Rest assured we are going to make it as humane as possible,” Perez added.

Gabbard has not qualified for a debate since November under previous standards from the DNC. She would have qualified for the next debate had she not been cancelled from the face of the Earth.