Biden commits to targeting at least 50% women in drone strikes if elected

Facing several claims of sexual misconduct against women, presumptive presidential nominee Joe Biden has promised to target at least 50 percent women in military drone strikes if elected. It’s a bold effort to equal the playing field between the sexes.

“The world is not treating women fairly,” Biden said in a press conference announcing his equality strategy. “That’s why one of the first things I do as Commander in Chief is to ensure that females die as often as males in my military drone strikes.”

Some estimates put current drone strike deaths at an appalling 95 to 5 percent ratio, male to female. Biden promises to correct that.

“We truly believe in equality. That’s not just lip service, Mack!” Biden said. “Trump doesn’t care about equality and that’s clear in the list of his drone bomb victims. They’re all guys!”

Biden has promised that his VP selection will also be a women, “whether he knows it or not.”