Biden orders everyone to watch the KFC movie together for unity

The first step toward American unity that President-Elect Biden and Harris promised has been announced. Our Democratic leaders will unite the nation by asking that everyone watch the KFC movie on Lifetime today!

That’s right, our leaders want us to watch ‘A Recipe For Seduction’, with everyone tuning in at the same time. No one is expected to deviate from this order. The movie is fifteen minutes long and eating KFC while watching the film is mandatory.

“Yes, let’s get together virtually and watch the movie, while sharing some chicken!” said Kamala Harris, “There isn’t one American out there that is too poor to be able to afford fast food and cable television, right? C’mon America, join us!”

Biden and Harris will be livestreaming their viewing via Zoom (what else?).

“I’m glad they’re asking everyone to watch the movie,” said the star of the film, Mario Lopez, “It’s great for Lifetime, KFC, us actors, and America! I just didn’t know I would end up being forced into endorsing Joe Biden…”

“I am deeply offended by this call for unity,” said Vegan food blogger Chip Kale, “Meat is murder, after all! However, I voted for Biden because he was a Democrat and must do as he asks. This movie just might unite the nation and once that has happened, Biden has promised to embrace the far left policies that those of us who helped him get elected agree with.”

‘A Recipe For Seduction’ was chosen by Democrats not for it’s story or general cinematic value, but for its ability to teach diversity. We followed up with the Democrats on how on earth a film like this could teach about accepting other races, to which the Dems informed us that it shows a Mexican man playing a White southerner.

“I want to thank the Genesius Times for printing my call to action,” said Joe Biden, “I want every man, woman, child, and those of the 500+ genders to watch this movie with me. There is no better way to unite America than to have everyone doing exactly as I say, when I say it!”