Iran has acceded to the demands of Boeing today in agreeing to hand over the infamous Black Box from the downed Boeing 737 Jetliner on it’s way from Tehran to Keiv. Genesius Times has been given exclusive rights to preview the contents of the Black Box sent by the “Slow Boat to China Delivery Service.” The same service that brought the House Impeachment Articles to the Senate, Robert Mueller‘s meds to his nursing home room, and Bernie’s delegates to the last convention.
The first thing that popped out of the newly opened box was the hard drive to HRC’s server attached to her yoga pants and wedding invitations. Next, a letter to Vince Foster asking him to meet Bill in Fort Marcy Park for a little fun run. A love letter to Web Hubbell saying that his daughter Chelsea was looking more and more like him every day. A cancelled check to J. Comey labelled ‘thanks for everything, call me’. The official Clinton kill list. All the questions Donna Brazille gave to Hillary at her last debate, and a bottle of Blue Dress Semen Remover.
Then a letter to Vladimir Putin was discovered with a small chunk of Uranium attached. “Dear Vlad my Impaler, I want to have your babushka baby. Don’t worry about the Uranium. I kept it in my fridge and I don’t think it’s that dangerous anymore. I’m also putting some Uranium in Bill’s 55- gallon drum of Viagra, LOL.”
And finally, a check for $100,000,000 made out to the Clinton Foundation with a love note from Xi Jinping. He thanked her for letting him into her warm and fuzzy and for letting him try on her pantsuits. “I never knew Chinese finger traps could be used that way.” And Spring Rolls? OMG!