I’d Rather Have Global Thermonuclear War Than World Peace Orchestrated by Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive being on this overheating, colonialist rock we call Earth—a transwoman valiantly trapped in the body...
Vladimir Putin
BREAKING: Trump buys Ukraine, renames it ‘MyKraine’ in unprecedented peace deal
ALASKA—In what international analysts are calling “either the boldest diplomatic breakthrough of the century or a high-profile real estate closing,”...
BREAKING: Federal Judge orders Putin to cancel Trump-brokered ceasefire and go back to war
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has issued an extraordinary order demanding that Russian President Vladimir Putin cancel a freshly brokered ceasefire...
BREAKING: Biden annexes Ukraine as 51st state of the Union in order to expedite WWIII
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented move, President* Joe Biden has unilaterally annexed Ukraine and made it the 51st state of the...
BREAKING: DOJ warns Russia ‘do not interfere with our interference of our elections’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare moment of transparency, Attorney General Merrick Garland issued a stern warning to Russia to...
BREAKING: Biden says his confusing Zelensky for Putin will not hurt his chances of beating Nixon in November
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a recent press conference, President Joe Biden assured the nation that his recent confusion between Ukrainian...
BREAKING: France surrenders to invading migrants
PARIS—Anxious to finally surrender to someone for the first time in years, the French government has officially announced its surrender...
I’d rather have a thermonuclear world war with Biden than world peace under Trump
It has been scientifically proven that a massive nuclear holocaust under the best president ever, President Biden, would be better...
Biden takes break from persecuting his political enemies to criticize Putin for persecuting his political enemies
WASHINGTON, DC—In a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black, US President* Joe Biden recently took a brief...
BREAKING: Biden caught reading ‘Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies’ on break
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden was caught reading "Global Thermonuclear War for Dummies" after returning from a European trip aimed...
