Democratic convention to be moved to Chuck E. Cheese, but DNC won’t tell Bernie which one

Bernie Sanders is fuming.

Let’s face it, Hillary Clinton and the DNC screwed Bernie Sanders in 2016. It’s starting to look like the same thing is happening in 2020 only it’s a bit less subtle.

Instead of Milwaukee, the exact location will be known by everyone except Sanders who will be told exactly 10 minutes beforehand. The diabolical plan gets even worse as the Fi Serve Forum in Milwaukee WI will still be the location, but the Sanders team has been told the convention has been moved to Chuck E. Cheese in Milwaukee, Venezuela. The Millennials and pre-schoolers who run the Sanders campaign were ebullient after hearing the new location since they all meet there regularly for birthday parties.

It has been reported that Sanders has been traveling to every Chuck E. Cheese around the country and demanding to see the manager for free skeeball tickets and to see if they’re holding the convention there.

Sanders Super Delegates, composed primarily of Che Guevera look-alikes, will also be informed of the change in venue but instead of Chuck E. Cheese will be re-routed to a hotel in downtown Havana.

The self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist will be kept in the dark for the foreseeable future as he takes all his campaign direction from AOC who has been in the dark since birth. 

Bernie will be spending the remainder of his campaign in a soundproof booth provided by the Clinton Foundation. They are considering locating the booth in their newest ILKEEYA store. Initially, Sanders objected, but once finding out about the Clinton involvement was quick to approve. “I don’t wanna make any trouble. I just wanna lose like last time. Just leeemealone dammit”!