INDIANAPOLIS—The 2024 presidential race took an unexpected turn when former Vice President Mike Pence announced his withdrawal from the crowded field of candidates. As the news broke, it was revealed that all 11 of Pence’s ardent supporters were utterly devastated by the departure of their champion.

For many, this shocking revelation has raised questions about the extent of Pence’s dedicated following. Rumors had swirled about his potential candidacy for months, leading some to believe that he may have garnered at least a slightly larger fan base. However, it seems that the 11 known supporters were the extent of Pence’s grassroots campaign.

In a tearful interview, one of Pence’s supporters, Helen Higgins, expressed her deep sorrow at his withdrawal. “I just can’t believe it,” she said, clutching a Pence campaign button. “I was ready to donate my entire collection of vintage tea cozies to fund his campaign. Now, what am I supposed to do with all these cozies?”

Another staunch supporter, Bob Stevens, had already designed his “Pence for President” yard sign and had plans to paint his house in patriotic colors. He’s now left wondering if he should invest in a fresh coat of paint or perhaps just a few succulent plants.

Political pundits and commentators were taken aback by the sudden turn of events. “I suppose we all underestimated the depth of Pence’s appeal,” mused political analyst Sarah Jennings. “It appears that even within his small but passionate base, his decision has left a void that will be difficult to fill.”

While the future of Pence’s political career remains uncertain, it’s clear that his 11 supporters will need some time to heal from this disappointment. Their dedication may serve as a testament to the potential for unexpected twists and turns in the world of politics.

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