WASHINGTON, DC—Following the trial of Derek Chauvin who was charged with making George Floyd “eat too many drugs” before getting arrested for check fraud, President* Biden signed a racial justice executive order yesterday that makes it illegal to arrest any person of color for any crime.

The order will be limited to people that Biden has certified a person of color.

“This is a brave new world in fighting racial injustice,” Biden said in a brief exchange with reporters after signing the executive orders. “We need to treat people of color equally and that means to never arrest them for any crimes, regardless of how obvious or blatant they are.”

Vice President* Kamala Harris, who is an undetermined person of color, watched with beady eyes as Biden signed the order.

“Look, here’s the deal. We know hardened criminals are just as good as white people deep down. It’s just they had bad luck being born a person of color in a country where people like me and Kamala Harris pass laws that target them criminally. So, we’re going to fix that and going forward, it’s illegal to arrest any person of color for any crime.”

Harris gained notoriety as a California prosecutor by disproportionately targeting blacks.

“This is justice!” Biden added.

Originally published Jan 27, 2021.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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