CHAPPAQUA, NY—Former US President Bill Clinton has tested positive for every disease known to man except for COVID-19, which is plaguing the world.

During this global health crisis, it’s good to see that some people seem to be immune from COVID-19. With seemingly every politician announcing a positive coronavirus diagnosis, it’s refreshing to hear of one famous person without the disease.

“Bill does not have coronavirus,” Clinton’s spokeswoman Monikah Bubowski said. “And he is not planning on making a cringy video of him stuck at home singing a John Lennon cover badly or soaking in a bathtub.”

Rumors have circulated that Clinton has had several chronic diseases and every sexually transmitted disease known to man.

Hillary Clinton, his wife, strangely has not contracted any of Bill Clinton’s STDs.

“I was thinking I might at well go and catch the ‘rona so that I could be a perfect 100 percent,” Clinton said, “but I don’t need to be a statistic like that.”

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