After agreeing to pay for illegal immigrant’s health care, the California government has decided to just secede and join Mexico so they can better fund the poor people of Central America. Polls show that the rest of the US is pretty much okay with that.

“We’re finished with being a part of the capitalist Great Satan, the United States,” Newsom said. “So, we’re taking our feces-filled cities and needle-filled beaches and going home to Mexico.”

The measures will go into effect and complement the new border wall that President Trump is building that extends along the US/Mexico border and excludes California and parts of Oregon and Washington.

Polls have showed that Americans outside of California are pretty okay with the secession.

“There won’t be a second Civil War about this. They’re spending money like drunken Keynesians on shore leave and we don’t feel like footing that bankruptcy bill,” Bob of Omaha said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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