If you don’t want your plane to explode and flip over on landing, you may be a sexist racist bigot
It's 2025, and we're still grappling with what it means to be 'woke' on a global scale, but nowhere is...
Business
BREAKING: Trump signs executive order allowing straight white people in commercials again
Washington D.C. – In a move that has sent shockwaves through the advertising world, former President Donald Trump, now the...
Gaza goat population explodes as Trump ends condom giveaway
Gaza City - In a surprising turn of events, Gaza's goat population is set to undergo a significant boom, following...
Lyft launches ‘Forklyft’: the Ride-Sharing Service for the Morbidly Obese
In an unexpected twist following the recent lawsuit filed by Detroit rapper Dank Demoss against Lyft, the ride-sharing giant has...
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully...
NEW LISTING! LUXURY CHARRED REMAINS ESTATE IN PACIFIC PALISADES – REDUCED PRICE AT $2.6 MILLION! WON’T LAST
Welcome, visionaries and lovers of avant-garde living, to the epitome of post-modern architecture! Nestled in the heart of Pacific Palisades,...
BREAKING: American Airlines to use flying reindeer to pull airplanes amid technical glitch
American Airlines has announced that their fleet will temporarily be powered by flying reindeer after a catastrophic software glitch grounded...
Family makes annual trip to donate last year’s Chinese junk to make room for this year’s Chinese junk
The Smith family has perfected an annual ritual that combines the spirit of giving with the art of decluttering. On...
BREAKING: Powell announces Federal Reserve has added Hawk Tuah Girl to advisory role
Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell announced today that the central bank will now be seeking investment advice from Hailey Welch,...
BREAKING: Disney pulls scene of Clinton’s visit to Epstein Island from Pixar’s show after Kamala’s loss
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has decided to remove a controversial scene from an upcoming Pixar streaming series. The scene in...
