BREAKING: Spokesperson for Hell disputes Biden’s claim that the U.S. economy is ‘strong as hell’
WASHINGTON, DC—A spokesperson for the Underworld has disputed US President* Joe Biden's claim that the US economy is "strong as...
Business
BREAKING: In order to win back JPMorgan Chase, Ye West starts a child sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—Rapper Ye (formerly Kanye) West was pilloried by media pundits and JPMorgan Chase closed his bank account after committing...
BREAKING: Dr. Evil claims Alex Jones defamed him by calling him ‘Mr. Evil,’ demands $1 trillion
AUSTIN—The hits keep coming for Alex Jones, who recently received a guilty verdict in a defamation suit by the Sandy...
BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to buy embattled Ukraine for $44 billion too
AUSTIN—Just hours after the world's wealthiest person Elon Musk agreed to let the purchase of embattled social media company Twitter...
FBI opens investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has opened an investigation into Kanye West for allegedly being a black white supremacist,...
AOC: ‘If the recession is so bad why are all my friends in DC getting so rich?’
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I’d like to share. Lots of capitalist monsters try to say that...
BREAKING: Nord Stream pipeline has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton
BERLIN—The Nord Steam pipeline, widely known to have colluded with Russia, has reportedly overhead important information that certainly will lead...
BREAKING: Florida chooses possible starvation over vegan meats as Hurricane Ian approaches
Grocery shelves across Florida are closing up shop in preparation for a category 4 hurricane Ian. The ones that are...
AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’
I don't know who needs to hear it, but pumpkin spice poaching is not okay. I just visited a field...
BREAKING: FBI arrests Mike Lindell after spotting a MyPillow in Hunter Biden sex trafficking video
US—The Federal Bureau of Investigation is shaking down Mike Lindell after identifying a MyPillow in the background of one of...
