AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
Business
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me
When I first joined X (formerly Twitter), it was a safe haven for people like me—progressive, open-minded, and wholly committed...
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign
Jaguar has introduced a new car designed specifically to match its groundbreaking gay ad campaign: the Dildo-Mobile. During a press...
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies
NEW YORK—In a move that sent shockwaves through both tech and media industries, Elon Musk has announced his acquisition of...
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless
As three esteemed gender studies triple-doctorates, we feel it is our duty to speak out against the incredible accomplishments of...
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball
President-elect Donald Trump has announced that he plans to replace the Federal Reserve with a far more reliable and trustworthy...
BREAKING: Spirit Halloween buys bankrupt Spirit Airlines
Spirit Halloween has officially purchased Spirit Airlines, rebranding the struggling airline as Spirit Halloween Airlines. The move promises to deliver...
BREAKING: World shocked that a beautiful actual woman won the Miss Universe beauty pageant
MEXICO CITY—The world is shocked and horrified as an actually beautiful woman has won the Miss Universe beauty pageant. Victoria...
Craft Ideas Using Velcro Strips
Who said crafting is just for kids? Engaging in creative projects isn’t just a pastime for the young; it’s a...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris given her old job at McDonald’s following election loss
Oakland, CA — In the wake of a tumultuous election, Kamala Harris has reportedly rejoined the workforce at an Oakland...
