Disney launches porn platform with only former Disney child actors
ALTA VISTA, FL—Inspired by Bella Thorne's hugely profitable OnlyFans account, Disney corporation hopes to capitalize on the utter degenerates that...
Culture
BREAKING: Millionaires refuse to play with bouncy ball to protest inequality
MILWAULKEE—Several grown men have refused to play with bouncy balls for millions of dollars to protest inequality. "There is serious...
The #1 attraction in California this year is Texas
LOS ANGELES—For the second year in a row, the top attraction in the beautiful state of California is Texas. "There's...
Kenosha protesters shocked to win stupid prizes after playing stupid games
KENOSHA, WI—The three Kenosha protesters who were shot by 17-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse were shocked to find that they won stupid...
Thousands of progressives die after playing arsenic drinking game during GOP Convention
US—Thousands of progressives across the country have died from what appears to be a drinking game during the GOP Convention....
BREAKING: Hindenburg completes fiery but mostly successful journey
The Hindenburg airship has completed a fiery but mostly successful journey in Manchester Township, New Jersey, United States. The German passenger...
Jim Cantore covers hurricane from basement bathroom amid pandemic
Renowned weather reporter Jim Cantore has been through it all—storm surges, 150-mile-an-hour winds, and lightning strikes. But he will be...
Millions of American pets eager to vote by mail in their first presidential election this year
US—With the consequential 2020 presidential election less than three months away, a determined Congress is pushing to ensure that tens...
Democrats win rights to use ‘Death to America’ as 2020 campaign slogan
The Democratic National Committee has won the rights to use "Death to America" (D2America) as their 2020 Presidential campaign slogan...
After encouraging reports on using honey for COVID-19, drug companies release honey pills for $1000/dose
There are so many nascent therapeutic avenues for this 'novel' coronavirus it's hard to know where to start. This is...
