CNN apologizes for upcoming ‘technical difficulties’ whenever Biden speaks
ATLANTA—CNN has already purchased dozens of new cameras and TV equipment from the Chinese Communist Party in anticipation of the...
Culture
Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate in the long history arbitrary...
Washington’s NFL franchise will now be called the ________ _____s so as not to offend anyone
Effective immediately, Washington will call itself the __________ _______s so as not to offend anyone. "We had a few ideas...
BLM rejects Marxism once they find out Karl Marx was an old white guy
By now every sentient being is well aware that Black Lives Matter has absolutely nothing to do with Black lives....
Portland moms finally pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest
PORTLAND, OR--Moms from around Portland finally came to pick up their kids from their little Antifa protest at the federal...
Feminists protest National Hotdog Day in order to defeat the Patriarchy
CHICAGO—A group of 100 feminists marched defiantly outside Vienna Beef headquarters today, in order to protest national hotdog day, July...
BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken with whiteness. "Californians have woken...
Planned Parenthood will only abort black babies from now on to support Black Lives Matter
In solidarity with the social justice movement Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood Corporation will only abort black babies going forward....
NASCAR gives Bubba Wallace first ever win in reparations for slavery
CHARLOTTE—National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) has given the mulatto driver Darrell Wallace Jr. aka (Bubba Wallace) his...
Nike makes sweatshop workers work overtime to stitch ‘Equality’ on NBA jerseys
BEAVERTON, OR—Nike has agreed to force its thousands of sweatshop workers to work overtime for free in order to stitch...
