BREAKING: Insurrection is okay again
WASHINGTON, DC—The once-reviled act of undermining democratic institutions, has been given a stunning facelift. It appears that insurrection, historically frowned...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: White smoke billowing from White House signifies that the Deep State has selected a new puppet to head the government
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a scene reminiscent of the Vatican conclave, white smoke billowed from the chimneys of the White...
Biden Stepping Down ‘Since Assassinating My Opponent Didn’t Work’
In what some Democrats are calling a “stutter” and a “goof”, President* Biden said his main reason for stepping out...
BREAKING: Project 2025 will provide every Trump supporter with laser-shooting velociraptors
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts and citizens alike in a state of euphoric disbelief, the...
BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for murdering elderly man on national television
ATLANTA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the alleged murder of current President* Joe Biden during a live television...
Pro-Illegal Immigration Advocate Outraged Over Line-Cutter at Starbucks
DENVER—A Colorado-based pro-illegal immigration advocate, Ira Nee, was incensed when a man cut the line at Starbucks. The incident has...
FBI Reports ‘Crime is Way Down’ After Changing the Definition of Crime to Exclude Murder and Theft
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has reported that crime is "way down" in the United States, after changing the definition of crime...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden guilty verdict overturned after 300,000 not guilty votes were found at 3am
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, Hunter Biden's guilty verdict on gun charges has been overturned after 300,000...
Inadequate Judge Merchan can’t gag Stormy Daniels: ‘I’ve Tried’
In a shocking turn of events, notoriously small jurist, Judge Merchan, has been unable to gag Stormy Daniels, the adult...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
