BREAKING: Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him in jail last night
CHICAGO—Actor Jussie Smollett, who was sentenced to months in prison for faking a hate crime yesterday, now claims that members...
Newsbeat
Buttigieg recommends a ‘horse and buggy’ for those who can’t afford gas right now
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said that those unable to pay the high gas prices caused by inflation and the...
Tina and Amy award Genesius Times with 7 Falsies at the 4th Annual Fake News Awards
NEW YORK—Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 4th annual Fake News Awards at the Hyatt Grand Central, last night...
Putin opens Uyghur concentration camp to make everyone like him again
MOSCOW—After receiving widespread condemnation for his invasion of Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin has opened up Russia's very own Uyghur...
BREAKING: EU leaders explain to Biden why Wile E. Coyote will never catch Roadrunner
U.S. President Biden, in using the cartoon ‘Roadrunner’ as an analogy for the Russian, Ukraine war attempted to illustrate several...
BREAKING: Florida invades Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too
TALLAHASSEE—The state of Florida has invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too. Florida also...
Hunter Biden promises to return his 2 Russian mail-order brides amidst sanctions
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's son Hunter promised to return his Russian mail-order brides amidst his father's sanctions on the country. "I...
Top Ten least funniest things in a Ukraine – Russian war
Top Ten least funniest things in the Ukraine - Russian war10. Orders coming from Russian headquarters are inside smaller orders...
CNN threatens to stop delivering fake news to Russia if they don’t withdraw from Ukraine
ATLANTA—The leader of fake news distribution in the West, CNN, is threatening to stop delivering their disinformation to Russia if...
Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone
Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come...
