Biden fitted with anti-sniff cone to protect children
WOONSOCKET, RI—Students at Woonsocket Elementary rejoiced as President Biden arrived for his latest unity speech to berate half the country...
Politics
BREAKING: Biden renames great white sharks ‘white supremacist fish’
NEW YORK—Following a rash of shark attacks that have plagued American beaches this summer, activists are calling for renaming great...
BREAKING: Joe Biden defies ageist critics, announces he and Dr. Jill Biden are expecting baby
In a stunning turn of events, President* Joe Biden has defied critics who claim he is too old for the...
Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: More charges filed against Trump after evidence of him kicking a puppy surfaces
(CNN) US—The New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has filed more charges against former President Donald Trump after evidence of...
Biden celebrates Cinco de Mayo letting a lucky 300 million illegal immigrants into the US
EL PASO—In a move that is sure to ruffle some feathers, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be...
