King Charles Appears to Forget Human Contact Lenses During Latest Address
LONDON — In what Palace officials described as a “minor wardrobe oversight,” King Charles III delivered a measured address on...
Religion
Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim
NEW YORK — In a landmark step toward multicultural equity, Mayor Zohran Mamdani personally oversaw the city’s inaugural public stoning...
Belfast ravaged by climate change following migrant attack
BELFAST—PSNI Assistant Chief Constable Siobhan Murphy told reporters: “We are monitoring a number of incidents involving fire. However, it is...
BREAKING: Trump’s Refurbished Reflecting Pool Mysteriously Reflects Only His Face
WASHINGTON — Officials confirmed Tuesday that the recently renovated Reflecting Pool on the National Mall now displays an image of...
Evangelicals Finally Find a Graven Image They Can Worship
DORAL, FL — After centuries of staunchly opposing the veneration of religious statues — including centuries of criticism directed at...
Evangelicals Update the Bible: ‘Thou Shalt Have No Graven Images…Except If It’s Gold Plated and Owns the Libs’
DORAL, FL — Following a solemn blessing ceremony at Trump National Doral Miami, evangelical leaders announced a long-overdue clarification to...
Netanyahu Warns Trump: Vatican City One Month From Nuclear Weapon
Jerusalem – In a late-night phone call that reportedly lasted 47 minutes and included several awkward pauses while aides Googled...
UK Agrees to Let Kanye In If He Converts to Islam and Rapes At Least 5 White Girls During His Stay
LONDON — In a bold move hailed as a triumph for diversity, inclusion, and pragmatic border policy, the British Home...
Pope Leo clarifies: Christ didn’t go to Hell after being crucified; He went to Portland
Vatican City — In a surprise clarification issued from the Apostolic Palace on Holy Saturday, Pope Leo XIV has revised...
BREAKING: White smoke in Tel Aviv indicates that Israel has chosen a new OnlyFans CEO
TEL AVIV — In a development that has left both religious scholars and content creators equally bewildered, thick plumes of...
