Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance
PARIS—The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the 2024 Paris Olympics weren't all smiles—there...
Sports
Trump politely asks CIA snipers to not murder him while he is golfing, thanks
In a move of pure presidential class, Donald Trump has taken to social media to make a simple, yet heartfelt...
NFL to expand diversity and inclusion by holding one Super Bowl for Blacks and another for Whites
In a groundbreaking move aimed at promoting diversity and inclusivity, the National Football League (NFL) has announced plans to host...
Pope finally condemns Olympic Opening Ceremony for not including an abortion too
VATICAN CITY — In an unexpected and unprecedented statement, the Pope* has condemned the Paris Olympic opening ceremony for what...
BREAKING: Imane Khelif’s next opponent Michaela Tyson has been flown in by Team USA to the Paris Olympics
PARIS — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the world of boxing, Team USA has flown in an...
BREAKING: Dozens turn to salt when looking at Eiffel Tower
FRANCE- Dozens of people from around the globe have been mysteriously turning into pillars of salt throughout the City of...
First biological cheetah who identifies as a man set to take gold for Lichtenstein at the Paris Olympics
LICHTENSTEIN—The citizens of this small alpine country in the middle of Europe are abuzz as they are set to take...
BREAKING: Angela Carini first women’s boxer to be disqualified for striking opponent in her testicles
PARIS—In a shocking and unprecedented incident at the Paris 2024 Olympics, Italian boxer Angela Carini has become the first athlete...
BREAKING: Paris Olympics Adds ‘Dodging Fire and Brimstone’ Event Following Blasphemous Opening Ceremonies
PARIS—In an unexpected twist, the 2024 Paris Olympics Committee has announced the addition of a new event: "Dodging Fire and...
WNBA Suspends Star Player Caitlyn Clark for Being Too White and Straight
INDIANAPOLIS—The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) has imposed sanctions on their most popular player, Caitlyn Clark, for the heinous crime...
