BREAKING: Biden swaps America-hating ‘Merchant of Death’ for Russian arms dealer
US—On Dec. 8, 2022, the Associated Press confirmed President* Joe Biden has secured a prisoner swap of America-hating "Merchant of Death" for...
Sports
BREAKING: Washington Commanders Win Via Mail-in Touchdowns
PHILADELPHIA—The Washington Commanders emerged victorious over the Philadelphia Eagles despite not physically attending the game. Washington won using their new...
To atone for Kyrie Irving’s antisemitism, the NBA mandates each team start at least 1 Jewish player
US—The National Basketball Association is reeling after star player Kyrie Irving posted a link to an antisemitic video. To make...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris announces new NFL rules ‘based on equity’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a press conference today, Vice President* Kamala Harris announced that the NFL will move to a new scoring...
Novak Djokovic enters U.S. through Southern border so he doesn’t have to be vaccinated
US—Tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has entered the United States through the Southern border with thousands of illegal immigrants so he...
Browns hope to fill all positions with rapists before wearing pink in October to celebrate women
CLEVELAND—Vowing to fill roster with as many "alleged" rapists & felons, the Cleveland Browns offered all next years drafts picks...
Brittney Griner celebrates 140 days being drug-free
MOSCOW—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner celebrated 140 days being drug free today while serving a 9-year-sentence for possessing marijuana in Russia....
Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife
MIAMI—Dolphins wide receiver Hubris Jackson was suspended for 2 preseason games for murdering his ex-wife and two other people in...
BREAKING: Brittney Griner wins, won’t have to listen to US National Anthem for next 9 years
MOSCOW—US women's basketball player Brittney Griner has won her Russian court case and won't have to listen to the National...
BREAKING: Brittney Griner’s race card has been declined in Russian court
MOSCOW—WNBA Player Brittney Griner's race card has been declined after she tried to use it to during her trial in...
