BREAKING: Biden denies hacking of ‘most secure gas pipeline ever’
WASHINGTON, DC—Reports came in over the weekend of a potential hacking of the Colonial Pipeline, which carried fuel from Mexico...
Tech
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $30B and immediately deletes it
AUSTIN—Business magnate Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform Twitter for $30 billion and promptly deleted in his...
CDC recommends everyone now wear tin foil face masks while in public
WASHINGTON — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) readied new guidelines Monday on coronavirus protections including an innovative...
Following Air Force One debacle, Biden installs stair lifts throughout White House
WASHINGTON, DC—You’ve probably seen the video dozens of times already of Biden tripping on the stairs of Air Force One...
Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever...
In effort to win over media, Ted Cruz starts putting COVID patients in nursing homes
AUSTIN—Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) who was criticized for not personally fixing all of the telephone and cables during the snowstorm...
AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...
Green New Deal support increases among the Amish after green energy fail
ANDOVER, OH—As millions of Americans lose power provided by Green New Deal compliant energy sources, support for the bill among...
Local dad finally gets a rest after exhausting week of turning off the lights for everyone else
Local father of five adorable munchkins, Peter Bougereaux was finally able to rest on the couch this evening after an...
