BREAKING: No one wants to talk to Budget Fidel at the NATO cocktail party
Vilnius, Lithuania—It seems that nobody wanted to engage in conversation with the infamous "Budget Fidel" aka the "Welfare Warmonger" aka...
World
BREAKING: Ukraine becomes fascist dictatorship in order to save democracy
In a stunning turn of events, Ukraine has taken an unexpected approach to preserve democracy: by transforming itself into a...
BREAKING: CIA asks for $6 billion refund for its failed Russian coup
WASHINGTON, DC—The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has reportedly requested a refund for its recent failed Russian coup attempt, which ended...
AOC: ‘I was murdered in the failed Russian coup attempt’
US—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, commonly known as AOC, has come forward with a stunning revelation: she was killed during the failed...
After hearing of Titanic sub implosion, Biden promises to send $100B more to Ukraine
In a stunning display of his commitment to international affairs, President* Joe Biden has reportedly pledged to send an additional...
BREAKING: Russian President Putin has opposition leader arrested in Soviet-style political move
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin has had the leader of the opposition party arrested in a Soviet-style totalitarian political move. Leaders...
Eric Adams orders New Yorkers to house migrant children in their dresser drawers
NEW YORK—Amid the immigration crisis at the not-open Southern border, Mayor Eric Adams has issued an executive order, mandating that...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
Chicago declares itself a sanctuary city for blacks after NAACP warns Florida is no longer safe for them
In a surprising move, the city of Chicago has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for blacks. This decision comes...
BREAKING: Leaking documents is bad again
(CNN) In a stunning reversal of opinion, politicians and media figures are now decrying the practice of leaking documents, after...
