BREAKING: CIA asks for $6 billion refund for its failed Russian coup
WASHINGTON, DC—The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has reportedly requested a refund for its recent failed Russian coup attempt, which ended...
World
AOC: ‘I was murdered in the failed Russian coup attempt’
US—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, commonly known as AOC, has come forward with a stunning revelation: she was killed during the failed...
After hearing of Titanic sub implosion, Biden promises to send $100B more to Ukraine
In a stunning display of his commitment to international affairs, President* Joe Biden has reportedly pledged to send an additional...
BREAKING: Russian President Putin has opposition leader arrested in Soviet-style political move
MOSCOW—Russian President Vladimir Putin has had the leader of the opposition party arrested in a Soviet-style totalitarian political move. Leaders...
Eric Adams orders New Yorkers to house migrant children in their dresser drawers
NEW YORK—Amid the immigration crisis at the not-open Southern border, Mayor Eric Adams has issued an executive order, mandating that...
Chicago declares itself a sanctuary city for blacks after NAACP warns Florida is no longer safe for them
In a surprising move, the city of Chicago has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for blacks. This decision comes...
BREAKING: Leaking documents is bad again
(CNN) In a stunning reversal of opinion, politicians and media figures are now decrying the practice of leaking documents, after...
BREAKING: Biden to confiscate all Americans’ guns to give them to Ukraine
Washington D.C. - In a shocking move that has left gun rights advocates reeling, President Joe Biden has announced that...
Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks...
BREAKING: Scientists warn Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate
WORLD—Scientists around the world have warned that the Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by the year 2025 if...
