The disease was formerly classified as a respiratory virus, but after seeing some of the absolutely insane things people are doing because of the disease, experts warn that it’s making people crazy–even if they haven’t contracted the actual virus.
“The observational data are pretty clear,” CDC spokesman Bernie Fluffgarten said in a press conference announcing the reclassification.
“We’ve seen formerly civilized people barking at people on the street for doing what they themselves are doing. We’ve seen people wearing a face mask alone in a sealed car with filtered air. We’ve seen people standing faced to the wall in an elevator like they’re all in Wally’s School of the Gifted. None of this makes any sense.”
Logical discussion about COVID-19 has been banned by social media platforms and all radio stations have agreed to play the Twilight Zone theme song on repeat for the foreseeable future.
YouTube has banned all videos of anyone contradicting the World Health Organization (WHO), which forced them to ban all videos by the WHO since the WHO contradicts the WHO.
The CDC will now be calling the condition “Covid Crazy”.