New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo is racking up the awards. For the fourth year in a row, he has been named U-Haul’s number one salesman for his efforts in making the state completely inhospitable.

“People are leaving the state in record numbers,” Francis DeLonge of U-Haul said. “They’re getting the hell out of the state and they need to rent trucks to do it. For that, we’re eternally grateful to Governor Cuomo.”

Cuomo closed over 2.8 million rental deals in 2018 alone, making a killing for the moving company.

The second-place salesman was Jerry Brown, former governor of California, who put in a commendable effort of 1.3 million closes.

“We don’t expect this to keep up,” DeLonge said. “With so many people leaving the state and so many abortions, there won’t be anyone left, but we’re going to enjoy our success while we can!”

Cuomo tried to put up a wall to stop the exodus from the state, but that was unsuccessful.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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