Democrats demand that Russia stops interfering in the elections they’re trying to rig

As the Iowa Caucuses draw near, top Democrats are demanding that Russia stops interfering in the elections they’re trying to rig.

“We’re trying to rig this election fair and square,” Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez said. “And it doesn’t help when we have outside interference messing up the works!”

In conversations in backrooms of a DNC executive committee meeting and in telephone calls and texts in recent days, about a half-dozen members have discussed the possibility of a policy reversal to ensure that so-called superdelegates can vote on the first ballot at the party’s national convention and thus prevent popular democratic socialist candidate Bernie Sanders from winning.

“We can’t let that wacko take the nomination,” Perez added. “He’s probably going to announce a Communist dictatorship when he’s elected, so we can’t allow that.”

If Sanders wins the Iowa caucuses on Monday and continues to gain momentum, it is possible he could arrive at the convention with the most delegates — but without enough to win the nomination on the first ballot. It is also possible that he and Elizabeth Warren, a fellow socialist, could arrive at the convention in second and third place, but with more delegates combined than the frontrunner.

“So, we need to make sure Russia doesn’t mess up our rigging,” Perez added.