Dozens throw themselves under Bernie Sanders Mardi Gras float to donate life insurance check to campaign

It’s happening just like in India where worshipers throw themselves under the wheels of the Juggernaut cart in fits of religious devotion. In New Orleans, dozens of rabid democratic socialists have sacrificed themselves to the idol of Bernie Sanders by throwing themselves under the Bernie Mardi Gras float.

“He was totally wigging out when he saw the Bernie float coming through and he just jumped in front of it like an idiot,” one spectator said.

Over 28 people have committed this ritual self-sacrifice to the Bern. Most have died and given their life insurance check to the Sanders campaign.

Sanders has said that he does not condone people dying for the Party, yet. He wants people to wait until he’s elected to make human sacrifice but it will be in the form of mass starvation, not parade suicide.

“She was just so happy about the news from Nevada, I guess she just wanted to make an offering to our future Dear Leader,” a tearful Mardi Gras celebrant said of her friend who sacrificed herself to Bernie.

Loading

About Author

Congratulations!

You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.