MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Officials at the various Facebook fact-checking services have investigated themselves over several allegations that they promoted misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic, which led to millions of deaths. They have concluded that they did nothing wrong.

“There were many allegations that we censored valuable data, deleted important science, and promoted misinformation about the disease in order to further political goals,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerface said. “But I want to assure everyone that we have fact-checked ourselves and approved everything we published as truth.”

Some have reported that Facebook’s “independent” fact-checkers used a letter organized by a major Wuhan Institute of Virology backer to “debunk” articles suggesting that COVID-19 leaked from a lab, but that has been debunked by the fact-checkers.

Therefore, the Facebook fact-checkers have thoroughly debunked the conspiracy theory that they have themselves published debunked information.

“We hold the truth,” Zuckerface said. “Whatever we say is true, even if it contradicts what we say.”

For their service to disinformation, Zuckerface and Twitter’s Jagoff Dorsey have been appointed to President* Biden’s Ministry of Truth.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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