In appeal to moderates, Bernie calls for worker-ownership of his gulags

As wealth inequality has increased, so has the injustice of the capitalist America. Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders hopes to correct this trend by instituting worker ownership of the gulags he will introduce in his first term as president.

Gulags are state prisons where political enemies go and they are necessary for any successful socialist country, just as Venezuela. But despite this, Sanders wants to make sure these gulags and concentration camps contribute to equality, not inequality.

That’s why he’s promising that all his gulags will be worker-owned.

“You may die at the hand of a prison guard as you try to scrap some mud off his boot to eat, but you will have part ownership in that mud. And that’s what’s important!” Sanders said to roaring applause at a presidential campaign stop.

Many people find his plan heartwarming.

“I just think it’s great what he’s going to do for this country,” Petey Schinklehead of Sanders’s home state of Vermont said. “True, we will be poor and destined to a life of slave labor, but we will all be equal!”