US—The Biden team has been busy installing inflatable big screens in cemeteries across the United States so his voters can watch the virtual inauguration from the comfort of their own graves.

“We thought about digging all those dead people up and shipping them to DC, but this is a much better use of taxpayer money,” Joe Biden’s inauguration czar Vlad Lenin said.

The big screens will show the entire inauguration celebration from the symbolic funeral for freedom to the singing of the Chinese national anthem.

“These are state of the art big-screens. And we’ll use the real silent blowers so that the deceased will be able to hear the ramblings of the senile Big Guy,” Lenin said.

The project will cost just under $25 million and will be paid for largely through the Department of Education.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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