BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
California mandates gas generators to charge electric vehicles amid strained power grid
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a law requiring electric vehicle owners to buy mobile gas generators to charge their...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Novak Djokovic enters U.S. through Southern border so he doesn’t have to be vaccinated
US—Tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has entered the United States through the Southern border with thousands of illegal immigrants so he...
Heavily-armed Antifa to stand guard over Biden’s ‘kid-friendly’ showers from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the successful defense of a kid-friendly drag show in Texas, President* Biden has employed heavily-armed Antifas to stand...
Ocasio-Cortez to overturn the law of gravity because it’s ‘oppressing us’
WASHINGTON, DC—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made another bold legislative move promising to overturn the law of gravity because, "it's oppressing us." "When...
FACT-CHECK: Beto did not contract monkeypox from that gay orgy on the campaign trail
EL PASO, TX—Democratic hopeful for Texas Governor Beto O’Rourke announced via Twitter on Aug. 28, 2022, that he had to...
FBI: Story about FBI falsely calling stories Russian disinformation is likely Russian disinformation
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has released a report stating that the reports about the FBI falsely labeling stories damaging to the...
Browns hope to fill all positions with rapists before wearing pink in October to celebrate women
CLEVELAND—Vowing to fill roster with as many "alleged" rapists & felons, the Cleveland Browns offered all next years drafts picks...
Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
New cookbook reveals favorite recipes of the FBI
US—A new cookbook reveals all the favorite recipes of the FBI including ████████ and █████ ███! "We thought, we're not...
BREAKING: Zelensky applies for $400 Billion student loan from US
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has applied for a $400 Billion student loan just weeks after Biden promised to make American...
