BREAKING: Catholic Cardinals Elect Joe Biden as Pope After Mysterious 3 AM Vote Surge 
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’ 
BREAKING: India bombs Pakistan after they refused to send their ‘bobs and vagene’ 
Massachusetts Judge Bans Trump from Being President, Cites ‘Orange Man Bad’ Doctrine 
BREAKING: Trump Ends US-Canada Trade War with Bold Swap: Seattle and Portland for Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries
In a surreal twist of environmental activism, a group of climate warriors calling themselves "GreenSmoke Revolution" staged a fiery protest...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It
America, it’s time to shake up this tired “due process for all” nonsense. The Constitution’s cute and all, but let’s...
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes
In a stunning turn of events that has left the Catholic Church reeling and Twitter ablaze, pop superstar Katy Perry...
BREAKING: NYPD Chief Turns into Zombie Following Bite From Democrat Councilwoman at Protest
Frank DiGiacomo, deputy chief of Patrol Brooklyn South, turned into a zombie after Councilwoman Susan Zhuang (D) bit him on...
Fetuses identifying as MS-13 gang members to get Democrats to start fighting for their rights
US—Millions of fetuses across the United States have reportedly begun identifying as members of the notorious MS-13 gang, hoping to...
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance
Pope Francis has passed away, reportedly with a beaming smile on his face, mere hours after a private audience with...
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them
In a stunning escalation of his immigration crackdown, President Donald Trump has announced a jaw-dropping new policy: transferring illegal gang...
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’
CALIFORNIA—In a baffling twist that’s left political analysts reaching for the aspirin, prominent Democrats have rallied behind Kilmar Abrego Garcia,...
BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to
Maryland, April 17, 2025 — In a stunning display of political passion, Senator Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) has taken to...
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work
In a bold move to rally young Democrat voters, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has pledged to set her Tesla ablaze,...
