Democrats take a break from worshipping a fentanyl-addict as a god to say they don’t want a king 
Leave Every Light in the House On and the Doors Open and Other Great Gift Ideas for Father’s Day 
BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after Israel bombs Iran 
Porn star to throw in a little singing in her next porno 
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight is seen above Los Angeles amid riots 
BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV offers to host peace talks between Trump and Elon
VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Leftists Scramble to Put Out Fires They Started on Their Teslas Now That Elon Is Feuding with Trump
US—Left-leaning Tesla owners across the country are frantically trying to extinguish the fires they set on their own electric vehicles...
Electric vehicle fires on Chinese cargo ships are proof that we’re doing the right thing for the environment
Dear eco-champions, green dreamers, and lovers of a good fiery spectacle, rejoice! The catastrophic Morning Midas disaster— that glorious blaze...
BREAKING: Trump replaces official Biden portrait at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald J. Trump, freshly reinstated in the Oval Office, has replaced President Joe Biden’s official White House portrait...
Swifties Vow to Endure Taylor Swift’s Horrible Music on Repeat to Fund Her Masters Buyback
In a bizarre twist that has the music world clutching its pearls and reaching for noise-canceling headphones, millions of Taylor...
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
BREAKING: City Council prohibits driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks
The city council has prohibited driving or walking on their new pride crosswalks to prevent destruction, in what many are...
Pride parade cancelled due to 90% chance of fire and brimstone
A pride parade scheduled to be held on Saturday in the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah has been cancelled...
Angel Reese says basketball rims are racists for making her throw up so many bricks
CHICAGO, IL – In a shocking post-game press conference following a tough loss for the Chicago Sky, WNBA star Angel...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
