Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Senate border bill secures the US border by sending $100 billion to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—The Senate has passed a groundbreaking border security bill aimed at securing the US-Mexico border by sending a whopping...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden promises to close the border once there are more illegal aliens in the US than citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are hailing as visionary and others as downright confusing, President Joe Biden has unveiled...
Chicagoans furious about Democrat policies they keep voting for
CHICAGO—Residents of the Windy City have expressed their bewilderment upon realizing that the democratic policies they've consistently voted for might...
MSNBC Praises Biden for not checking wristwatch for returning dead soldiers ceremony
In a groundbreaking moment of presidential prowess, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow lauded President* Biden for his extraordinary commitment to not checking...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Biden’s 10 million new illegal immigrants as dependents on your taxes
President* Joe Biden's recent immigration policy has inadvertently created a unique opportunity for savvy taxpayers to expand their households and,...
AOC: ‘I don’t need farmers. I get all my food from the grocery store’
Everyone’s making a big deal about Dutch farmers uniting and the possibility that they may "stop working" because of the government mandates....
BREAKING: France surrenders immediately following Biden’s bombing of Iraq and Syria
In a dazzling display of diplomatic gymnastics, France has once again taken the lead in the Surrender Olympics, this time...
Senator Graham sees shadow, means 10 months of acting like a conservative
As Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow to forecast the length of winter, another, less furry creature engaged in a...
In Honor Of Black History Month U.S. Treasury Offers Limited Edition Commemorative Fake $20 Bill
In a groundbreaking move to celebrate Black History Month, the U.S. Treasury has announced the release of a limited edition...
BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
