BREAKING: Democrats furious that Trump did what they’ve demanded he do 
Trade war escalates: Trump slaps 125% tariff on all of Eric Swalwell’s Chinese spy lovers 
Trump Ends U.S.-China Trade War with Bombshell Swap: Hong Kong for Portland, Oregon 
BREAKING: Tariff War Sends Prices of Chinese Rubber Dog Sh*t Soaring 
Local man dies from plume of neighbor’s disgusting new perfume 
Biden draws his largest rally ever in Del Rio, Texas
DEL RIO, TEXAS—Thousands of illegal immigrants, mostly from Haiti, are congregating under an international bridge in the largest rally ever for...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Trump indicted for drawing 100,000 people to rally
WILDWOOD, New Jersey—In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Brian Hernandez Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mystik Dan, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying,...
Boeing issues apology after accidentally killing 10 NCAA whistleblowers
Boeing has issued a formal apology after "accidentally" killing 10 NCAA referees during a series of test flights. The aerospace...
Gov Kathy Hochul’s lures black voters back to the Democratic Party by calling them ignorant, sheltered monkeys
NEW YORK—In a last-ditch effort to secure her position as New York Governor, Kathy Hochul has resorted to a shocking...
Pro-Hamas college feminists excited to become second class under Sharia law
In a shocking display of ideological confusion, a group of pro-Hamas college students, who also identify as "feminists," have expressed...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for not sniffing kids during Miami Grand Prix visit
MIAMI—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of not sniffing children during his recent visit to...
Chet the human turd demands to be added to the LGBTQ+ Pride flag
HOLLYWOOD—In what can only be described as a groundbreaking and revolutionary moment in human history, Chet, the human turd who...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
Texas Governor sets up “Liberation Zone” for rioting college students in local prison
AUSTIN—In a bold move that has stunned the nation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a revolutionary plan to deal...
