France, Last Remaining African Team, Eliminated from World Cup 
Satan Trying To Figure Out Why Wars Are Breaking Out All Over Hell 
Mamdani Opens New NYC Restaurant Allowing Comrades to Literally ‘Eat the Rich’ 
Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing 
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace” 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions
As a woman who has been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump appoints to any cabinet position, I feel it is...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies
NEW YORK—In a move that sent shockwaves through both tech and media industries, Elon Musk has announced his acquisition of...
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine
President John F. Kennedy was reportedly startled by loud noises and tripped, falling in his limousine during a motorcade through...
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas
On this day in 1963, the nation collectively held its breath as President John F. Kennedy embarked on what would...
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless
As three esteemed gender studies triple-doctorates, we feel it is our duty to speak out against the incredible accomplishments of...
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball
President-elect Donald Trump has announced that he plans to replace the Federal Reserve with a far more reliable and trustworthy...
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’
Democrats have been celebrating the conviction of Jose Ibarra for the murder of Laken Riley as "A Very, Very Late...
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said today that nuclear Armageddon has always been a key part of President*...
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance
PARIS—The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the 2024 Paris Olympics weren't all smiles—there...
CNN: How Biden’s global thermonuclear war could be great for your skin
In the beauty world, achieving a glowing complexion is the ultimate goal. And what better way to get that radiant...
