Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Biden: Get in loser, we’re going to drive over some illegally stored classified documents
https://twitter.com/theblaze/status/1612599689290842112
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: FBI won’t raid Biden’s home because Jill Biden’s wardrobe is ‘eewie’
WASHINGTON, DC—Revelations that classified documents have been found in the possession of President* Joe Biden have caused many to question...
BREAKING: After finding illegal classified docs at Biden’s think tank, FBI to raid Trump again
WASHINGTON, DC—After finding classified documents at President* Joe Biden's think tank at Pennsylvania University, the FBI will be raiding Trump...
Local Woman Gets Enough Votes to Become Speaker of Her House After 15th Ballot
LINCOLN, NE—Every two years the Baker family holds elections to see who will become the next speaker of their house....
BREAKING: In response to Brazil’s insurrection, Schiff to impeach Trump again
BRASÍLIA, Brazil—Anti-communist protesters in Brazil have reportedly entered into the facilities where the country’s Congress and Supreme Court meet. They...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ in Brazilian insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC–Two years after the War of January 6th to the date, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a...
BREAKING: McCarthy wins Speaker vote after finding 150,000 mail-in ballots at 2am
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, the House of Representatives have voted in Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) after finding 150,000 mail-in...
25 Predictions for 2023
So the year has officially ended and now we’re in 2023. Wondering what’s in store for this year? If you...
BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy saw his shadow this morning indicating 6 more weeks of voting for Speaker
WASHINGTON, DC—Kevin McCarthy's hopes were dashed this morning as he emerged from his office this morning, looked around and saw...
BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy agrees to step aside and let Volodymyr Zelensky become Speaker of the House
After six stalemate votes, Democrats and Republicans came together to to select the great American Volodymyr Zelensky to be Speaker...
