Nick Sandmann renames CNN since he absolutely owns them

The Cable News Network (CNN), founded in 1980 by American media magnate Ted Turner has been renamed the Nick Sandmann Network (NSN) since he absolutely owns them.

CNN settled a lawsuit after the “news” network defamed Sandmann for standing his ground and smiling against racists Black Israelites and a leftist Indian activists while waiting for a bus after the March For Life. Now it appears that Ted Turner’s Propaganda Machine has thrown in the gender neutral towel to The Sandmann.

“We tried to claim that our business was being shutdown due to the corona, but nobody would accept that,” stated CNN political commentator Ana Navarro.

CNN Center is being constructed into a Lincoln Monument style statue with Nick instead of the first Republican President sitting in the marble chair. It’s not clear if the organization will still broadcast news since so few people even bother to watch what was once the only 24 news network on what used to be TV.

Sandmann might convert the CNN buildings into movie studios that actually makes original movies or a new string of indoor rifle ranges or Catholic Church Campuses.