Not a company that seeks to avoid controversy, Nike has introduced a new ad campaign to back its socio-political overlords in China.

The ad depicts a Chinese military agent about to execute a horrible dissident for the unforgivable crime of being alive with the memorable Nike slogan “Just do it” written across the bottom.

The ad also promotes the NBA, which is a big fan of China’s totalitarian ways.

Nike has also recently changed a line of advertising with the embattled NFL star Colin Kaepernick from “Believe in Something. Even if it means giving up everything,” to “Believe in Somethings. Unless it upsets the Chinese government.”

“We at Nike believe this campaign will go far in our cause of social justice according to the Communist Party,” Nike CEO Dick Headface said in a press conference. “We oppose government oppression in every form, unless it’s committed by one of our largest buyers.”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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