OPINION: Fight income inequality by giving Bernie a fourth house!

Income equality is clearly the worst thing ever. Even if everyone is wealthier than they were, if the difference between the highest quintile and the lowest quintile is larger, then it’s an unjust system. We must smash income inequality and wealth inequality now!

Even if everyone is equally poor, we need to make everyone equal. That’s the point of our existence!

That’s why I am a supporter of democratic socialist Bernie Sanders for president. Sure, he’s a admitted millionaire and I’m only a hundred-aire. Sure he has three houses and I only have a dumpy apartment. Sure he has never worked an honest day’s work in his life and I slave away constantly trying to put food on my table. But he stands for exactly what I stand for: income equality!

So if you acknowledge the evils of capitalism and the beauty of communism; if you envy the super rich like Zuckersbergs and Beesoz; if you love the corrupt government that’s beholden to lobbyists, then you too should vote for Bernie Sanders!

The only way to fight income inequality in today’s world is to make a super-rich guy like Bernie (one of the 1%) even wealthier. The only way to make everyone equal is to sell your organs to donate to a politician. The only way to promote equity is to give Bernie a fourth house—the White House!

As a great man once said, “Some people are more equal than others!”