Famed hammer-thrower Gwen Berry has announced her participation in this year’s upcoming Oppression Olympics. Professional victims rejoiced nationwide.
Donning her trademark clown makeup, Berry told reporters she hopes to embarrass the nation that will take no legal action in response to her antics. Several congressmen and even the White House declared their support for her displays of oppression.
Competition in the women’s division is expected to be tough this year. The Oppression Olympics committee announced she will be competing against:
- Hyunjoon Kim, a North Korean woman who escaped a concentration camp after twenty years of imprisonment for a crime she did not commit. Three generations of her family were executed following her defection.
- Kebe Okonkwo, a seventeen year-old Christian who watched Islamic terrorists decapitate her entire family in the middle of her village. Her hands were cut off and she is now traded among various Boko Haram terror cells as a sex slave.
- Ansharah Kazimi, a former child-bride from Pakistan who recently lost both of her legs when her elder husband used her to find a safe path through a mine field.
- Patime Ametjan, an nine year-old Uyghur muslim enslaved by the Chinese Communist Party. She has spent her entire childhood making shoes for Nike, a proud sponsor of the Oppression Olympics.
- The final entrant is Miss Berry, whose oppression includes living in the freest and most equal country in world history. After receiving a free public education, Berry was given a university scholarship. Afterwards she had the freedom and opportunity to pursue professional sports, amassing a multi-million dollar net worth and represent said country at the Olympics Games.
Lookout, Hyunjoon, Kebe, Ansharah and Patime. You’re about to find out what real oppression is.