Samuel Jackson will be next debate moderator with the ‘I said 2 motherf**g minutes’ rule

NASHVILLE–Samuel Jackson has been named the moderator for the second and final presidential debate. He will be granted the authority to employ the ‘2 motherf***ng minutes’ rule.

Most viewers agree that the first debate between President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden was a disaster.

“From the moderate Chris Wallace losing control of the debate to Biden fighting with his handlers through his ear peace, it was awful,” one viewer said.

As a result, the debate committee has agreed to hire Samuel Jackson to moderate since people clearly listen to him.

Jackson will spend the first five minutes berating the candidates equally and then asking a short question and demanding an answer with, “English, Motherf***er, do you speak it?”

“Jackson is pretty much the only personality that can stand up to Trump’s. This should be a very productive debate!” debate committee chair Preston Fuzzibottom said.