Sanders furious after less popular Democratic candidates take 70% of his hard-earned contributions

The front-running candidate for the Democratic nominee,
Bernie Sanders, is starting off on a good foot, generating $70 million his first week of his 2020 Presidential campaign.

But less popular candidates such as Eric Holder and Michael Bloomberg have, “seized the means of corruption” and taken 70% of Sanders’ contributions.

“Bernie is the 1% of political candidates, getting most of the contributions,” a spokesman for Michael Bloomberg said, “It’s just not fair that he gets all the money and we’re left to make due with what we have.”

The self-proclaimed democratic socialist Sanders defended his success. “Sure, inequality is a problem in the business world, but it’s perfectly fine in politics. This is unjust, plain and simple!” he yelled as the hair on his head danced a crazy dance.

Cory Booker was vehemently aggressive about the confiscation of wealth. “He’s just hoarding all that money! We’re going to take it and we’re going to take it all. All of it I say!” he exclaimed in a Senate hearing on water safety.

John Hickenlooper, who is polling at 0% made his thoughts known at a press conference where two reporters were present. “No one has ever heard of me and I have a funny name. It’s just not fair that some candidates like Bernie Sanders is so successful.”

“We deserve a fair bankroll,” Booker said. “How can they expect us to survive on the paltry donations we’re getting?”