Socialist Sanders to condemn only billionaires now that he’s a millionaire

Bernie Sanders has made a career out of railing against millionaires and billionaires, calling them the dredges of humanity and “gold-plated swine fodder” in his populist socialist political campaigns.

But it’s been a little awkward since the presidential candidate has been outted as a millionaire himself.

“From here on out, I am only going to rail against the ultra-rich… the billionaires!” he exclaimed in a campaign stop in Iowa where middle class supporters were urged to sell their plasma to give to his campaign.

“The rich are still evil and income inequality is still the worst thing ever, but only with regard to the ultra rich one percenters!”

When informed that he in fact was part of the one percent (the highest 1% income earners in the country), he altered his statement.

“Those wicked, greedy hoarders in the top 0.5% Americans need to pay their fair share! We must eat the rich!”

At one point he tried to identify with the middle class plebes in the audience.

“I’m exactly like you! Month to month, I struggle to pay the bills on my three personal houses and trips around the world. It’s not fair to us. That’s why you need to give me more money so I can fix the inequality we suffer!”