BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg met with President-elect Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago to discuss the release of his father from Area...
aliens
BREAKING: Dianne Feinstein, formerly mistaken for petrified alien mummy, dead at 90
In a surprising turn of events, Dianne Feinstein, once mistaken for a petrified alien mummy due to her seemingly ageless...
Biden offers ancient mummified dead aliens in Mexico free health care and $6,000 a month if they come to America
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that has raised eyebrows across the galaxy, President* Joe Biden has announced an unprecedented immigration incentive...
Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks...
Stacey Abrams: ‘Fetal heartbeats don’t exist until they’re implanted by aliens right before birth’
ATLANTA—Democratic Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said “there is no such thing as a heartbeat at six weeks” during an...
BREAKING: Pentagon confirms alien sightings in and around Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon confirmed today that there have been legitimate sightings of aliens in and around the Chicago area. Residents...
VIRAL: Millennials raiding Area 51 to lick alien heads, return them to cryogenic freezers
This is really getting out of hand. After the ice cream licking challenge of early summer went viral, and then...
Joe Biden joins Area 51 raid to ‘spread compassion’ to aliens
Despite protests by the #metoo movement of illegal aliens holed up in Area 51, presidential hopeful and serial hair-sniffer Joe...
BREAKING: Zuckerberg sponsoring Area 51 raid to free his dad from captivity
Much hype has been made of the storming of Area 51: more than a half-million strangers will gather in a...
AOC travels to Area 51, discovers illegal aliens have been locked in cages there for decades
During the viral campaign to storm Area 51, it had been brought to light by US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that...
