BREAKING: Anti-war Democrats furious at Trump for attempting to end two wars
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Anti-war Democrats including Senator Bernie Sanders are furious that President Trump wants to end two wars. The unexpected peace...
Bernie Sanders
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez releases line of socialist Valentines
The creative art director at the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez staff has been working like an unpaid Democratic staffer in preparation for...
BREAKING: Biden offers free healthcare and $6k a month to aliens invading New Jersey in drones
Biden offers free healthcare and $6000 a month to all the aliens invading new Jersey in drones TRENTON, NJ—President* Joe...
BREAKING: Elon Musk becomes the first person on earth with enough wealth to fund the federal government for more than 5 minutes
WASHINGTON, DC—Billionaire Elon Musk has officially reached a level of wealth where he could, theoretically, fund the operations of the...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Bernie Sanders spotted sprinting back and forth between his 3 mansions so the squatters he advocates for don’t move in
VERMONT—Senator Bernie Sanders was spotted engaging in a rigorous exercise routine, sprinting back and forth between his three luxurious mansions....
Amid skyrocketing inflation, White House recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—Amid record skyrocketing inflation, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre suggested a few things to help them through the...
Anti-war Democrats excited for Biden to start WWIII
WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty Republicans to celebrate President* Joe...
AOC: ‘If the recession is so bad why are all my friends in DC getting so rich?’
WASHINGTON, DC—Friends, I had another deep thought that I’d like to share. Lots of capitalist monsters try to say that...
