BREAKING: Biden credits the COVID vaccine for him only getting a mild case of dementia
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising turn of events, President Joe Biden held a press conference today to express his...
Donald Trump
BREAKING: The Secret Service has investigated itself and found they did nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—The United States Secret Service has completed a thorough internal investigation and astonishingly found itself to be completely blameless...
BREAKING: Secret Service Director Cheatle says they can’t protect Trump anymore because there are sloped roofs everywhere
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented announcement, US Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle has declared that the agency can no longer provide...
BREAKING: Trump shocks nation by picking Sydney Sweeney as VP: ‘Finally, a VP Worth Watching’
MILWAULKEE—“Yes, it’s true. Sydney Sweeney is going to be my running mate,” Trump declared at a press conference at the...
BREAKING: Trump selects clone of himself as VP: ‘He’s the only one I can trust’
MILWAULKEE—Former President Donald Trump has announced his vice-presidential pick for the 2024 election: a clone of himself. “Yes, it’s true....
FBI launches investigation into the Angel of God who interfered in assassination attempt on Trump
In a move that has left theologians and conspiracy theorists equally bewildered, the FBI has announced an investigation into the...
BREAKING: Trump hires Rooftop Koreans to beef up security after Secret Service failure
In a bold and unexpected move, former President Donald Trump has announced the hiring of the famed "Rooftop Koreans" to...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination of him
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for interfering with an official CIA assassination attempt on his life. The...
Biden scrambles to find new VP after hearing about assassination attempt on Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a whirlwind of confusion and panic, President Joe Biden is reportedly scrambling to find a new...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for killing would be assassin
BUTLER, PA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted yet again, this time for the actions of his Secret Service detail....
