BREAKING: Marco Rubio named new Supreme Leader of Iran
In a stunning development that has left foreign policy analysts reaching for their atlases, President Donald J. Trump announced today...
Donald Trump
BREAKING: Trump bombs Iran so that he can get a Nobel Peace Prize like Obama
In a bold move to secure lasting global recognition, President Donald J. Trump authorized precision airstrikes on multiple Iranian military...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States declared a national emergency Tuesday after intelligence agencies confirmed what had long been whispered in dimly lit...
Mitch McConnell blinks twice to indicate vehement opposition to SAVE America Act
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic escalation of nonverbal parliamentary procedure, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) today registered his...
SCOTUS rules that the federal government can only tax Americans to death—not other countries
In a landmark 6-3 decision handed down today, the Supreme Court clarified once and for all that the federal government...
Trump gains liberal support by renaming ICE ‘Planned Citizenship’
In an appeal to pro-choice progressives protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has renamed the US...
BREAKING: Trump Ends Minnesota Standoff by Trading Minneapolis for Alberta, Canada
Washington, D.C. – In a move described by White House officials as "the art of the deal on a continental...
BREAKING: People who want to tax cow farts are upset about Trump’s tariffs
WASHINGTON, DC—Green New Deal Democrats are reportedly fuming over President Trump’s latest tariff announcements—not because of trade imbalances or economic...
BREAKING: Trump cancels Global Warming in latest executive order
THE SOUTH—In a move that has stunned scientists and political observers alike, President Donald Trump, one day after his inauguration,...
Trump identifies as ‘3rd World migrant rapist’ to get European leaders to just give him Greenland
COPENHAGEN / MAR-A-LAGO – In what political scientists are already calling “the most efficient diplomatic judo move of the 21st...
