REPORT: Trump fixed all of McDonald’s broken ice cream machines while on a break
In what is being hailed as the most unexpected accomplishment of his post-presidential life, Donald J. Trump reportedly repaired every...
Donald Trump
BREAKING: McDonald’s now offering covfefe
PHILADELPHIA—In an unexpected move, McDonald’s has added “Covfefe” to its beverage lineup, bringing the viral 2017 mystery word from Donald...
BREAKING: McDonald’s changes name to ‘Donald’s’ after Trump works there for an hour
PHILADELPHIA—In a bold marketing move, McDonald's has announced it will officially change its name to "Donald's" following former President Donald...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris bravely returns to site of malfunctioning teleprompter
FLINT, MI—In what is being hailed as one of the most courageous acts of her political career, Vice President Kamala...
BREAKING: Joe Biden endorses Donald Trump in 2024 presidential race in stunning October Surprise
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking twist that has left political pundits scrambling, President Joe Biden has officially endorsed his longtime rival,...
BREAKING: Merrick Garland offers to match Ryan Routh’s $150,000 bounty for whoever can ‘finish the job’ on Trump
WAHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping escalation of governmental ingenuity, the Department of Justice, under Attorney General Merrick Garland, has reportedly decided...
Trump is literally trying to steal our democracy by not dying in his assassination attempts
The real tragedy of our time isn’t the soaring inflation, crumbling infrastructure, or the total collapse of bipartisan cooperation—no, the...
BREAKING: DOJ charges 2nd would-be Trump assassin with jaywalking and mostly-peacefully protesting without a permit
MAR-A-LAGO, FL The man who allegedly attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump has been formally charged—not with attempted murder,...
Trump politely asks CIA snipers to not murder him while he is golfing, thanks
In a move of pure presidential class, Donald Trump has taken to social media to make a simple, yet heartfelt...
BREAKING: CIA fires Trump would-be assassin Routh for failing mission
In a shocking turn of events, the CIA has officially pulled the plug on its notorious "Trump Sniper Program" after...
